They will never understand the importance of this trip. Never never never. All the preparations I need to do. No goodbye. Just a step to the unknown. To hibernate yourself and to wake up in future where everything is better. My personal time machine. It is possible to travel in time. I will prove it. I will save myself from the troubles of today.
Sunlight is so real. I’m lying on my back. Floating through the space on my mattress. Touching the stars. Taking sun in my arms for a strong warm hug. Burning my hands. With broken wings falling back to earth. Waking up. Getting prepared. It’s so important that nothing else matter. Today I broke windshield again. Stupid people. It’s not their fault. I can not help them. I must be the wise one and leave. I must find the energy to finalize mu preparations. This trip is so important for the people. Small step for myself.
Opinions? Who is allowed to have one? On which things it is possible to have an opinion?
Do not say everyone and everything. It’s not a matter of opinion.
There are things where you really can be wrong. It’s a lie that everyone can tell their opinion. I know that science is not perfect and things needs to be questioned, but still.
There are people who want to join the conversation but they do not uncderstand a shit about the subject. They are still happy to share their opinion. It’s just bullshit.
I often end up in disputes where no one really understands what we are arguing about. People claim that I get agitated when someone does not agree with my opinion. Fuck I hate that word! There is nothing wrong in disagreement. The problem is the people who seek some kind of eternal consensus and they do not like to argue. They think that the whole dispute is about disagreement, when it really is about them not understanding what the whole thing is about. Stupid people should not be allowed to speak (other than what is needed to do their work and buy their food),
I was having some different colors on a sheet of paper: yellowm blue, red, green – and I made a mistake to ask what people thought about the shades – if they were too vivid etc. One guy said “I’m a bit color blind, but my opinion that is not yellow, it is brown”. What the fuck? Did I ask his OPINION on that?? No!
I asked 10 other guys what color they think it is and they all said it’s yellow. There must be a ton of standard that can prove that it’s yellow for sure, WHY THE FUCK DOES SOMEONE WANT TO EXPPRESS HIS OPINION THAT IT’S BROWN???
I hate earth. I want to get out of here.
It feels like I was locked in. Inside this little capsule buried deep inside my mind. Why do I hate people so much? Hatred is a strong feeling. Something that you only can truly feel if you know one really well. Same with love. That is the feeling that has been hiding inside me behind the closed doors so long. What is love? Baby don’t hurt me.
Today I stayed at home. Trying to avoid people. I’m afraid they will turn me into stupid. Already now I feel like I’m losing the focus. I must fully concentrate on my mission. Nothing else helps. I need to leave this place. Forget the people and live for myself and for the space. The endless truth where there is no god but myself.
Today is one day after yesterday. On the path to eternity. I think I was out today, but I did not like it. The dark force of stupidity surrounding me everywhere. A car parked on a crosswalk. I broke one window on it, but did not leave the note. Will the owner now understand, or is he like a dog, that will not learn if you punish him too late. Maybe the dog does not understand the punishment as such, but just learns to avoid the consequences. Maybe people are doing the same. I hate them. Going around as a mass and bragging about their individuality. Praising god and not understanding that everything comes from inside. Not listening to themselves. Being too afraid.
I’m shy – but not afraid.