I wanna be sedated

I need to put myself together somehow. It has been long time since I was able to go on with my preparations. It’s not too easy. I want to do everything right. I don’t want to hurt anyone – including myself. Still I want to leave.

I saw an article that told that some alcohol actually helps you better solve tasks that demand logical thinking. That’s because then you can not concentrate only on one option and that keeps your mind open for creative solutions. I don’t know if I need id. My mind is running too fast already. Jumping from one subject to the next one and trying to draw the lines between the dots.

Especially on my journey I will need something opposite. I will need some kind of sedation to keep myself calm. I need to reach a state of some kind of hibernation so that I would not too much worry about the lack of activities. Sleeping has always been my favourite hobby so it should not be big issue.

All the supplies need to be purchased. I need to get money for all this somehow. Over the years I have been investing my earnings in real estate, stock market, art etc. Current financial crisis does not provide the best timing to sell everything, but I will not need to worry about the losses as long as the money is enough to buy everything that I need.

I should do a list of needed things, but I’m too tired to do that. I’m just laying on my bed and dreaming. I have been living a good life, but it could had been so much better. I put on some nice music. Youtube search for “Beautiful music” brings some truly amazing pieces of music. Ave Maria.

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